I'm really hating the ups and downs of my life, especially when I'm trying to do my best to be careful and avoid the downs and get that thrown in my face. Another conversation with my husband, in which he first expressed - again - his frustration that we weren't doing something to fix things. … Continue reading Up And Down And All Around
I Had A Great Day
I woke up early enough on Saturday that I was able to be relaxed about getting myself together and getting out the door and on the road. Traffic was light and the drive was a breeze. I managed to get to M's house with just one minor mishap where I passed the road I needed … Continue reading I Had A Great Day
First Impressions
Tomorrow I'm supposed to meet two friends I've known online for years but will now get to meet in person for the first time - first M, then H. My period has started. My face is angry about the period and angry about my attempt at makeup a couple of days ago. I probably shouldn't … Continue reading First Impressions
I Had A Good Day
While the day began on the unpleasant flavor left by last night's dream, it improved considerably as time went on. I had a nice time chatting with A and H throughout the day, combining it with listening to music and actually getting a little bit of stuff done, like putting away my laundry and clearing … Continue reading I Had A Good Day
Dream: Space Colonists & Accidental Abandonment
It's funny that I can more or less shrug off horror themed dreams, even ones that were somewhat frightening and traumatic while happening, but other dreams with seemingly benign settings turn out to be gut-wrenching. Last night I only remember one dream. I think I started off as myself, but in another existence - I … Continue reading Dream: Space Colonists & Accidental Abandonment
An Assortment of Photos
I'm so proud of myself, and shouldn't be. I finally figured out how to put an image inside a post and it was so easy it's pretty clear I should have figured it out months ago. So, um, I guess I'm going to devote this post to sharing some pictures that would have made it … Continue reading An Assortment of Photos
Dysphoria
The result of applying makeup was weirdly traumatic on a psychological level. Invasion of the body snatchers weirdly traumatic. Dysphoria inducing. It did not look or feel like me. I took a selfie without my glasses on and that made it worse. I posted it to facebook saying it was freaking me out but I … Continue reading Dysphoria
I Do Not Love Being A Girl
Went to Target today so my husband and I could shop for a few things we needed. One of the things I needed was a set of basic cosmetics so I can work on learning how to apply make-up properly for interviews / work. I had a basic list of what friends had recommended to … Continue reading I Do Not Love Being A Girl
Dreams: The Good Place, Chris Pratt, and an Abandoned Baby
I had two dreams last night, both of which I can remember some of. (Potential spoilers for The Good Place if you have not yet got around to watching that excellent show.) In the first, I was Eleanor, trying to save Chidi from Michael and the denizens of the Bad Place, but there were a … Continue reading Dreams: The Good Place, Chris Pratt, and an Abandoned Baby
An Epiphany About My Parenting
I was thinking about how my husband had accused me of isolating myself from him and the children a few months back. He wasn't entirely incorrect - I was withdrawing and holding space for myself instead of spending all my available time with them. I'd been withdrawn for a while, though, especially during the two … Continue reading An Epiphany About My Parenting
On A Good Day 