Dream: Space Colonists & Accidental Abandonment

It’s funny that I can more or less shrug off horror themed dreams, even ones that were somewhat frightening and traumatic while happening, but other dreams with seemingly benign settings turn out to be gut-wrenching.

Last night I only remember one dream. I think I started off as myself, but in another existence – I was a member of a colony on a planet far from Earth. The planet we were on could sustain some life, but would not be able to sustain a colony our size indefinitely. One of the women organized a space program for the colony and we built another ship so that we could reach a new planet.

The space program succeeds, the ship is built, and it’s the day when the majority of the colonists are boarding. Some few have elected to stay behind because they aren’t interested in more ship travel and the planet we’re on will at least sustain them for their lifetime. They’re helping make sure everything goes smoothly for boarding and takeoff.

The perspective of the dream shifts, and I am now the son of the woman that pioneered the space program. I’m only 11 or 12, I think, and I’m waiting for them to begin the process of putting me on the ship, only to discover that the ship is nearly ready to leave and they have no record that I’m supposed to be one of the people on the ship. That ship is about to leave with my mom on board and I will never see her again because I’ll be left behind. I began frantically trying to get the right person to understand who my mom is and how I’m supposed to be in the ship with her, before it leaves.

The dream never resolved, to my knowledge. I woke up still riddled with the feelings of intense anxiety, abandonment and impending grief of the boy I was in the dream, and I couldn’t go back to sleep feeling that way.

I think it would make a good, if heart-wrenching story – something along the lines of a sci-fi Island of the Blue Dolphins. (Which was a book I found both fascinating and heartrending as a child.) I can’t imagine ever getting around to writing the story myself, though.

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