Three Dreams

No less than three dreams last night, which was very surprising because I kept overheating, waking up, throwing off the blanket, then getting cold, waking up again and having to retrieve the blanket. Anyway, the first was a chilling horror themed dream with a vampire. I started the dream as a woman being interviewed to … Continue reading Three Dreams →

Investigating My Possibilities

Yesterday, after feeling the urgency and precariousness of my situation more strongly, I started investigating what kind of employment opportunities were available in my new town. It confirmed my concerns - I'm unqualified for most jobs due to lack of education, lack of experience, or lack of the necessary stamina & strength. I realized I … Continue reading Investigating My Possibilities →

A Few Observations After Moving

Something I miss about the suburbs of Chicago - street lights on the corner, so that even if you're behind a large truck, you can still see if the light has changed. I think I'll miss the sound of the trains, too. In spite of the fact that my brain tainted them with association with … Continue reading A Few Observations After Moving →

Comcast Sucks

Mini-monopolies are still monopolies. Anyway, 5 years ago we moved from Florida (Brighthouse NEVER fucked up this badly in our years of service through them) to Illinois and had to go with Comcast. We burned 2 hours worth of time on a pay-per-minute phone because our service wasn't working and every rep my husband talked … Continue reading Comcast Sucks →

More Assorted Bits And Pieces

I woke up this morning and found that Comcast had canceled our internet service at our current residence even though they weren't supposed to do that until the 21st. We've never had a good experience with Comcast and have only used them because they are the only option here. My husband had to spend an … Continue reading More Assorted Bits And Pieces →

An Assortment of Things

It amuses me when I get a like and it's pretty clear they can't possibly have read the post and are just hoping to generate return traffic. No, when talking about my impending divorce I do not, in fact, want to visit your wedding blog. --- I scrubbed a lot of things yesterday and today … Continue reading An Assortment of Things →

Unfocused

The drafts are piling up again. I want to write, but my focus is shot. That's my biggest beef with chronic sleep deprivation. Without focus, I'm not getting shit done. I can't even entertain or distract myself properly. I can't maintain focus or interest for the length of an episode of television. It doesn't take … Continue reading Unfocused →

Stabilizing

I'm a little more stable now. One source of sadness and anxiety that was leading to worst case scenario brain has been resolved and the difference was instantaneous. Maintaining balance isn't an easy feat. I hate that I'm this fragile. This fragility is why I'd wanted my husband to back off and give me space. … Continue reading Stabilizing →

Well Crap

I wasn't intending to keep this blog a secret from people I know, originally, but then found that I really liked having something that was just mine, where I wouldn't have to worry about who I knew that might see something I'd written. So I decided I'd keep it anonymous. I've discussed blogging again with … Continue reading Well Crap →

If You’re Christian, You Probably Don’t Want To Be Here

I was raised as an evangelical Christian. I write about that experience occasionally. I don't have nice things to say about it. Right now I'm very bitter about my conservative Christian upbringing and what it did to my life and the precious years I wasted, suffering intensely while trying to shape myself and my life … Continue reading If You’re Christian, You Probably Don’t Want To Be Here →