This morning my ex informed me maintenance would be coming over. After they arrived, he showed up at the door to my “bedroom” (aka the walk-in closet in my boys’ bedroom) and asked if I knew where the screw was from the towel bar that had fallen off the wall. I looked confused and shrugged and then when he got an annoyed expression on his face I said I imagined it probably bounced somewhere on the bathroom floor. He then said something I didn’t quite catch but the gist of it seemed to be that ‘that was the response he was looking for’ aka he wanted me to respond verbally or felt I was being disrespectful.

Okay then.

Fast forward a couple of hours and I’m sitting at the table eating apple slices with peanut butter while he’s in the living area a few feet away working at his computer. He suddenly gets my attention and “requests” that I go eat elsewhere so he can focus on work. I told him I’d be done shortly. He then started talking about how I was earning my consequences and would be responsible for what happened, in a way that suggested he could use this incident in which I refused to leave the table when asked as proof in court that something was wrong with me. At that point, I turned on my phone’s recorder because the encounter was so unexpected and so completely batshit.

I finished my apple slices, got up to put my plate in the sink and wash my hands and he kept going – about how my behavior wasn’t normal and how I’d eaten in my closet before and was just refusing to go because he asked, and how I should have given him space to work like how the kids were sequestered in another part of the house, etc. etc. Basically, acting like I was the equivalent of one of his children and that I should be obeying him and that my refusal to obey was abnormal behavior that he could bring up in court.

I sat there and asked ‘are you done?’ a couple of times so I could get more of what he said recorded, but had to leave before long because I just couldn’t stomach the encounter any longer. I then saved the recording to google drive and will now be recording at all times while home, because I never could have predicted that sitting at the dining room table to eat apple slices would have led to an encounter like that.

When A listened to the recording (which she said was completely bonkerballs) she immediately wanted to help me search for local rentals, and came up with a list right away, which she shared with me via google docs.

I am just going to lay low the rest of the day but tomorrow after work, and Thursday when I’m off, I’ll be working on calls and applications for apartment rentals. My half of the stimulus money did arrive in the joint account and I’ve safely shuttled it off to the savings account he can’t access or see. I don’t want to leave the house for phone calls or anything else this afternoon, though. The only thing I’ll do is send off some emails regarding availability in case I get responses that way.

3 thoughts on “Instability

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