Music has turned out to be my most helpful coping strategy this year. Unlike walking, it's not dependent on the weather. Sometimes the right song can help you fortify and keep putting one foot in front of another, or give you a burst of energy when you need it. I wanted to share a bunch … Continue reading Fortifying & Energizing Via Music
Month: June 2019
Catch-22
I didn't want my therapist to agree with me that my situation was a catch-22. I wanted her to spot something I'd missed. But she didn't. My husband's toxic habits along with the timing of his major life decisions are the reason I'm a wreck. He's the biggest source of stress in my life. --- … Continue reading Catch-22
Stabilizing
I'm a little more stable now. One source of sadness and anxiety that was leading to worst case scenario brain has been resolved and the difference was instantaneous. Maintaining balance isn't an easy feat. I hate that I'm this fragile. This fragility is why I'd wanted my husband to back off and give me space. … Continue reading Stabilizing
Bitter Ruminations
Gallows humor is how I cope with and relate to the world. People that can't appreciate or are put off by gallows humor aren't likely to appreciate me. --- There's a movie - Wristcutters: A Love Story - whose opening sequence made me fall in love with the film. I won't spoil it, but it's … Continue reading Bitter Ruminations
Fear of Relapse
Yesterday was shit. It started well enough. A dream that made me laugh as soon as I woke up, which instantly created a good mood. Then seeing my husband's self-inflicted pain made me sad. Even though I steeled myself to ignore it, the damage was done and the good mood, lost. A friend that lives … Continue reading Fear of Relapse
Ignoring My Empathy
I woke up this morning and realized that I must have had a proper REM cycle, because I'd been dreaming. The remembered dream made me laugh because of how silly it had been, and I was instantly in a good mood. I went downstairs, and found that my husband was already awake and had started … Continue reading Ignoring My Empathy
George R.R. Martin Fans Are Going To Kill Me
So, I slept well enough this morning to have an REM cycle and dream, and what a dream it was. It started out in a parking lot. I was about to reverse and drive away when I saw that the man approaching the car parked in front of mine was George R.R. Martin. That was … Continue reading George R.R. Martin Fans Are Going To Kill Me
Sex and the Conservative Christian Girl: part 2
Content note: lengthy, frank discussion of at least one human's sexuality, profanity, lack of euphemisms, unlikely to be erotic or sexy, sorry. Part One Fantasizing turned out to be the best way for me to keep my sex life alive for a while. Fantasize until seriously horny, then seek out my husband for sex. That … Continue reading Sex and the Conservative Christian Girl: part 2
Sex and the Conservative Christian Girl
Content note: lengthy, frank discussion of at least one human's sexuality Lengthy frank was on purpose and I'm not apologizing. Second content note: said discussion is unlikely to be erotic or sexy, sorry - unless your kink is stories of awkward, ignorant, repressed sexuality, in which case, enjoy! Third content note: profanity, lack of euphemisms … Continue reading Sex and the Conservative Christian Girl
Sleep: A Literal Need
My husband insisted on a third conversation to express his insecurity and impatience. I told him my number one priority is sleep, not hashing out the details and potential longevity of our relationship. Sleep is the necessary foundation for healing, and I was just doing what was necessary to get from here to when we … Continue reading Sleep: A Literal Need
On A Good Day 