George R.R. Martin Fans Are Going To Kill Me

So, I slept well enough this morning to have an REM cycle and dream, and what a dream it was.

It started out in a parking lot. I was about to reverse and drive away when I saw that the man approaching the car parked in front of mine was George R.R. Martin. That was kind of exciting, but I didn’t want to be creepy so I just smiled and waved and started backing out of my spot.

Well, Martin fell. I was sitting there thinking ‘oh crap,’ so I parked my car, got out and went to assist him. He was, thankfully, not too injured to get back up and walk, but it was obvious that he was hurt so I took him to my apartment so he could wait for his people to come get him. (Apparently he didn’t want to get picked up by an ambulance or have me drive him to the ER.)

He was very cranky, and thought I was very bad at helping him. Which, in fairness, I probably was. I think he’d injured his ribs and I’m not a nurse, or even trained in first aid.

I kept thinking ‘oh my god, George R.R. Martin is going to die, and not finish his book, and his fans are going to blame me. I’m going to get murdered by George R.R. Martin fans!’ (Apparently my brain can easily catastrophize in dreams, too?)

And then some random dude showed up and was talking to both of us, and Martin was saying that he writes his manuscripts by hand with a silver pen. Not a pen made of silver, a pen that writes with ink made from real silver. Just because he could.

So then random dude was looking greedily at the small section of the manuscript that Martin had with him, like he thought it was valuable because it was written with real silver ink, and I was rolling my eyes at him because it seemed unlikely there’d be enough silver ink there to actually be worth anything – but it was part of Martin’s manuscript and probably insanely valuable for that reason alone.

I was worried I might have to stop him from attempting to steal the manuscript, but woke up instead, laughing my butt off as soon as I realized it had been a dream.

During the dream I was genuinely terrified I was going to be murdered by George R.R. Martin fans, though!

My apologies to Martin, who seems like a nicer person in real life than in my dreams. I’m not apologizing to the fans, though, some of you probably would murder me if you thought I was responsible for preventing the release of his latest novel.

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