Thursday something occurred that felt nearly miraculous. My therapist expressed his opinion that I was doing so well that all I might need at this point would be the occasional session to check in and make sure everything was still okay. It's a little less than 2 years since I embarked on a journey to … Continue reading Recovery
Tag: therapy
I’m Not Dead Yet But I Don’t Think I’ll Take A Walk, Yet
Well, life changed in a big way. I got employment. I got my own apartment. I forced my ex to agree to 50/50 custody for the summer. My mental health improved significantly. I started dabbling with dating. My writing habit got derailed. We were supposed to have a final hearing for the divorce in September. … Continue reading I’m Not Dead Yet But I Don’t Think I’ll Take A Walk, Yet
Depression Sans Anxiety
Content note: discussion of suicidal ideation. Wednesday was some of the roughest mental health shit I've dealt with to date. The day started out badly - I was already in a depressive mood early in the morning and the fact that everyone was silent made things worse. There was no chatter in my group chat … Continue reading Depression Sans Anxiety
All Real Numbers
My therapist and I were talking about choice and what I want again today. He sounded less sure that I should go ahead and tell H about my feelings. He mentioned the dreaded word 'rebound' which I admit makes me feel very defensive. Talked about how we don't give ourselves time to develop friendships but … Continue reading All Real Numbers
Just A Hole, Part 2
I woke up Friday morning feeling on edge, but my emotions were otherwise still comfortably numbed. My husband offered to make coffee after I got up. I accepted his offer and then went to get my shower so my hair would have some time to dry before leaving for my appointment with the my therapist. … Continue reading Just A Hole, Part 2
Looking Again
I managed to exert myself in spite of my desire to wallow in self-pity and left a voice mail for the next likeliest therapist among the ones I'd bookmarked. He also practices in downtown Indy, within walking distance of the Central Library still, which to be honest would be a perk. More importantly, though, he … Continue reading Looking Again
A Little Discouraging
It seems I'm looking for a new therapist. Less than an hour before my appointment, while already on the road (I like to leave early), I received a text that the therapist I'd been attempting to get established with was sick, again, and had to cancel, again. He gave me the name of another therapist … Continue reading A Little Discouraging
Starting With A New Therapist
I think I mentioned briefly that I found a new therapist that seemed like they might be a good fit for me. I was supposed to have my first session with him yesterday, but he was sick and had to reschedule for next Friday. Brief tangent: yesterday morning I decided I'd knock out a little … Continue reading Starting With A New Therapist
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
I'm finding it grimly amusing that trying to convince my husband to see a therapist seems to be backfiring on all fronts. I genuinely wanted him to get help and healing and learn how to move forward with his life in healthy ways, but I'm reminded that no therapist can help someone that doesn't think … Continue reading No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
This Problem Can’t Be Fixed (So I Won’t Even Try)
My husband and I had another conversation yesterday, surprisingly this one was more stressful in impact for him than for me. He claimed the reason he made a separate account to transfer funds to was because I'd asked him about having his name removed from our joint account (which was my account originally.) This is … Continue reading This Problem Can’t Be Fixed (So I Won’t Even Try)
On A Good Day 