(This was written the morning of August 30th, before my trip to Tennessee, but I did not have time to finish and publish it then.) I just realized the trip I'm taking today - heading to Tennessee to see my sister J and my dad - will be the first time I've taken a trip … Continue reading Another Conversation
Tag: Relationship
Tennessee Visit, Etc.
Well, I'm home. I was noticeably less stressed and anxious while in Tennessee visiting my family. Now that I've returned I can feel the ever-present low levels of anxiety, just waiting to be pushed to higher levels. Friday's drive went fairly well. Half of the trip was through long stretches of rural highway in Kentucky … Continue reading Tennessee Visit, Etc.
Uncomfortable Complication
Had a conversation with H today. I wanted to give him a heads up about what happened with my husband, just in case things go majorly south for me in the next few months. Specifically, the incident where my husband claimed we had a conversation where I asked about having his name removed from our … Continue reading Uncomfortable Complication
Sleepless Again
I noticed at 9:54 that my husband was putting on another episode of TV for the boys. I said that would go past 10, and my husband said it would only be 20 minutes past. I expressed that I would prefer not to go 20 minutes past, and pointed out they could move to the … Continue reading Sleepless Again
Needs and Boundaries
My husband and I have been together for 18 years, married for 16. Over the course of our relationship I experienced stress related to circumstances outside of our control, which was understandable, as well as stress related to major decisions my husband made for us because I believed, at the time, that I was supposed … Continue reading Needs and Boundaries
Rainy Day Escape
My husband is working from home Mondays and Fridays now, and with our current issues a four day stretch is a little much for me, so I decided I'd find something to do outside the house today. As it was going to be raining all day, it needed to be indoors, but my initial selection … Continue reading Rainy Day Escape
I’m Gonna Have To Add Barbwire To These Boundaries
Last night I made sure my husband knew any TV watching beyond 10pm had to be moved to the living room. He wrapped up a few minutes after 10 and sent the boys to bed, and I settled down to listen to music and hopefully sleep. He came over and affectionately squeezed my arm and … Continue reading I’m Gonna Have To Add Barbwire To These Boundaries
I Am Not Going To Blow Up My Life, I Am Not Going To Blow Up My Life…
At the moment I'm having to remind myself of just how badly I could screw myself over if I tell my husband I'm now 100% certain I want a divorce and want to file as soon as legally allowed - 5 months from now. I know part of this is the sleep deprivation talking. We … Continue reading I Am Not Going To Blow Up My Life, I Am Not Going To Blow Up My Life…
Looking Ahead
September is actually shaping up to be - enjoyable. Full of activities that will get me out of the house and make me feel like I'm actually doing something with my life. I'll be spending the first week in Tennessee with my dad. Afterwards I'll have several workshops and training sessions at the career center … Continue reading Looking Ahead
Continued Sleep Deprivation
My sleep has only improved a small amount. I have a theory that constant levels of stress and anxiety are interfering, even if the stress and anxiety have been reduced somewhat. I have trouble falling asleep before midnight, and trouble staying asleep past my first and so far only REM cycle per night. I'm fairly … Continue reading Continued Sleep Deprivation
On A Good Day 