Thursday something occurred that felt nearly miraculous. My therapist expressed his opinion that I was doing so well that all I might need at this point would be the occasional session to check in and make sure everything was still okay. It's a little less than 2 years since I embarked on a journey to … Continue reading Recovery
Tag: anxiety
I’m Not Dead Yet But I Don’t Think I’ll Take A Walk, Yet
Well, life changed in a big way. I got employment. I got my own apartment. I forced my ex to agree to 50/50 custody for the summer. My mental health improved significantly. I started dabbling with dating. My writing habit got derailed. We were supposed to have a final hearing for the divorce in September. … Continue reading I’m Not Dead Yet But I Don’t Think I’ll Take A Walk, Yet
High Anxiety
I haven't been around much. As my life and mood improved I found I needed writing as an outlet less and less. Plus, my laptop is behaving badly and typing this out on a phone is a massive pain. Going through a high anxiety day today and having to remind myself how many good days … Continue reading High Anxiety
Solid Ground
In 2015, easily one of the worst (if not the worst) years I had for depression and mental health issues, I felt like I was alone in the ocean, at night, with no idea which way to swim in order to reach land - just trying to float and wondering if I would go under. … Continue reading Solid Ground
Mediation
I left the house a few minutes early, moved my car so it wasn't right next to our building and joined the Zoom meeting. The paralegal standing in for my lawyer explained that my lawyer was on a hearing at the moment and would join in a bit. What she expected to take her 30 … Continue reading Mediation
An Unwanted Visit
I have another 4 days off in a row. This will be followed by 4 days working. I'd rather the shifts were spread out a little more, though, as even just a 4 day stretch trapped in quarantine with my ex is mildly insanity inducing at best. Last night I was consoling myself that at … Continue reading An Unwanted Visit
It’s Fine Until It’s Not
[A couple of months ago I felt confident enough about where I was, mentally and emotionally, to let my group chat with my sister J, A and M know I'd been blogging. M wanted to be able to read it, so I sent her the link. M, if you're reading this, I suggest you stop … Continue reading It’s Fine Until It’s Not
I’m Okay
I'm not great, I'm not terrible. After a very rough start to the quarantine and social distancing, I've settled into an equilibrium of sorts. I'm not at my best - I managed to have a pretty good few weeks from February to mid-March. The anxiety and depression were very low, happiness was up. I'm definitely … Continue reading I’m Okay
Unslumping
Woke up this morning and started feeling anxiety kicking back in. A and H weren't very talkative Friday, and it made me start going into an anxiety spiral of 'what if I lost them as friends?' which was so gut-twisting it made me want to scream into the void. But that put me into problem-solving … Continue reading Unslumping
Depression Sans Anxiety
Content note: discussion of suicidal ideation. Wednesday was some of the roughest mental health shit I've dealt with to date. The day started out badly - I was already in a depressive mood early in the morning and the fact that everyone was silent made things worse. There was no chatter in my group chat … Continue reading Depression Sans Anxiety
On A Good Day 