I was so devastated at the idea of working retail. I sucked it up and applied for a job and I ended up working at a grocery store in a pandemic. That sounds pretty terrible on the surface of things. So it's a little surreal that when I'm at work I'm the most at peace … Continue reading Bits and Pieces
Spotty
My desire to write ends up MIA a lot these days, which is sad because I'd like to keep up with what's going on a little more consistently. My ability to focus on reading has also been MIA a lot. That means my presence around here is spotty at best. Anyway, I had an encounter … Continue reading Spotty
Instability
This morning my ex informed me maintenance would be coming over. After they arrived, he showed up at the door to my "bedroom" (aka the walk-in closet in my boys' bedroom) and asked if I knew where the screw was from the towel bar that had fallen off the wall. I looked confused and shrugged … Continue reading Instability
So Many Feelings
H introduced me to something called synthesia / black MIDIs which is basically music that builds up into cramming as many notes as possible before sanity or the computer breaks down. H likes it - I think I'd have to be very heavily caffeinated and high on life before I could actually enjoy it as … Continue reading So Many Feelings
Mediation
I left the house a few minutes early, moved my car so it wasn't right next to our building and joined the Zoom meeting. The paralegal standing in for my lawyer explained that my lawyer was on a hearing at the moment and would join in a bit. What she expected to take her 30 … Continue reading Mediation
Dread
Required mediation takes place tomorrow via Zoom. The lawyer originally handling my case left the firm for another job and now the paralegal and remaining lawyer are having to handle the extra caseload while knowing nothing much about my situation. There's even a schedule conflict that will mean the paralegal, rather than the lawyer, is … Continue reading Dread
Brief Update
Have not been great about updating. The days when I don't work I'm trapped here in quarantine with my ex and even though he's more or less behaving himself, it's stressful and draining. Just wrapped up my 3rd of 4 shifts this week and the physicality of the job is finally getting to me. Have … Continue reading Brief Update
Creepy
I headed out for a second walk yesterday - out into a wet and ominously clouded night, and as I was crossing an intersection heading to the nearby nature area and the paved trail that runs through it, I had a thought. I've been in my suburb of some 70,000 people for 8 months now... … Continue reading Creepy
An Unwanted Visit
I have another 4 days off in a row. This will be followed by 4 days working. I'd rather the shifts were spread out a little more, though, as even just a 4 day stretch trapped in quarantine with my ex is mildly insanity inducing at best. Last night I was consoling myself that at … Continue reading An Unwanted Visit
It’s Fine Until It’s Not
[A couple of months ago I felt confident enough about where I was, mentally and emotionally, to let my group chat with my sister J, A and M know I'd been blogging. M wanted to be able to read it, so I sent her the link. M, if you're reading this, I suggest you stop … Continue reading It’s Fine Until It’s Not
On A Good Day 