I'd barely had a chance to speak with my oldest sister L and younger sister R, and I had wanted to let them know at least a little bit of what was going on in my life, seeing as how the public announcement of the divorce is only a month away. L had been stuck … Continue reading Hell Week, Part 2
Category: Relationship
Hell Week, Part 1
I was starting to think the holidays with my family weren't going to be so bad after all, but I came back Sunday feeling like I'd been kicked in the heart, so it seems my pessimism was warranted. There are times when I really wish my intuition and assessment of the facts would be wrong. … Continue reading Hell Week, Part 1
The End of the Month Conversation
Yesterday I woke up with the beginnings of a tension headache and my chest hurting. I was anxious about how the monthly conversation with my husband would go. He wanted to get to it right away after our youngest daughter had left for school. He said he didn't really have anything to talk about, but … Continue reading The End of the Month Conversation
Chewed Gum
Yesterday I sat on the little stone landing outside my dad's front door. The sun was out and I wanted to feel some warmth and do something healthy for myself. I brought my phone & headphones with me and listened to music and periodically cried. Sometimes a thought would come to me that I'd feel … Continue reading Chewed Gum
Schrodinger’s Loneliness
I need to not be alone today but I also need to be alone. I'm constantly on the verge of crying and the only people around are my husband and kids and I don't want them to see anything amiss and ask me about it. Writing doesn't seem to be helping me cope as much … Continue reading Schrodinger’s Loneliness
Narcissistic Traits
So one of the writers I've met through this blog, Renata, had mentioned the grey rock method and suggested I should look it up because I might find it useful when communicating with my husband. The entry I found surprised the hell out of me. Not because of the grey rock method, but because it … Continue reading Narcissistic Traits
Paranoia
Today my husband called on his break. He hasn't been doing that lately. Not since I made up my mind divorce was 100% happening and that we could no longer even continue our trying to be friends-with-benefits arrangement. He said he'd been thinking about something we discussed yesterday - how I'd said I couldn't trust … Continue reading Paranoia
Behind On Updating
I really do want to be staying current on what's happening in my life, as I find it useful to be able to look back and see what I recorded, but apparently that's just not something I'm staying on top of right now. I had an issue develop with my shoulder, I believe I mentioned, … Continue reading Behind On Updating
Various and Sundry Items
I have been having a slightly harder time lately. Skirting the edge of depression. I can tell because it's harder for me to focus on things I'd normally be prioritizing, like writing on my blog, reading the blogs I follow, taking pictures while out walking, etc. I'm still more or less okay, though. Keeping my … Continue reading Various and Sundry Items
A Look Back
I've been browsing through my older blog entries today. It's hard to believe it's only been about 6 months. I feel like I've lived several lifetimes in that 6 months. I've confirmed my husband was acting weird and insecure and paranoid before I developed feelings for someone else, and before I was honest with him … Continue reading A Look Back
On A Good Day 