Good News

So, the start of the morning was less-than-stellar when my husband showed up to work from home. Apparently his company is allowing people to voluntarily work from home while they decide if they need to shut down the office due to COVID-19 showing up in our state. While I was still digesting and internally freaking … Continue reading Good News →

Wish Me Luck

Yesterday I had my interview with the store I applied to. It was around 60 outside, and breezy, so we sat on the table outside the store. I hate certain aspects of interviews, in particular things like 'tell us about a time when you did X.' Those aren't the memories I tend to hang on … Continue reading Wish Me Luck →

Aesthetic

The Spotify algorithms recognized it before I did, but I've now become conscious of the fact that one of my main musical aesthetics is electronica that sounds influenced by 80s music and video game soundtracks. Honestly, that's kind of hilarious to me because I wasn't allowed to listen to 80s music in the 80s, and … Continue reading Aesthetic →

Malleable

Yesterday had an interesting moment for me. I was not pleased about my reaction to working retail. I've worked retail before and I do know how mentally and emotionally crushing I found it, but this is not a good time for turning up my nose at available employment and I was almost as unhappy about … Continue reading Malleable →

Until Use And Old Age Accept Them

I looked for the source of my fear and I found it. I determined I'd let the fear go. My brain promptly said "bitch, that anxiety was there for a reason - did you think I was being irrational? I didn't want you thinking about things that make you want to kill yourself." Domestic life … Continue reading Until Use And Old Age Accept Them →

Irrationally Clingy

I heard from my attorney yesterday and she mentioned that my husband is justifying withholding funds from me to his attorney by claiming things like that I'm not going to the kids' counseling sessions and that instead I was driving around wasting gas. First, I was at a one day assignment for a staffing agency. … Continue reading Irrationally Clingy →

Powerful

I listened to melancholy, sad songs all morning. Wrote. Processed. Grieved. The weather is nice today, so I prioritized getting out for a walk and drove up to Potter's Bridge sometime after noon. By the time I got there, I realized my mood was significantly improving. I felt powerful. I asked myself a question, dug … Continue reading Powerful →

Stupid Human Psyche

So, I had recently made the realization that everything related to searching for employment was causing me significant anxiety, MORE anxiety than getting divorced and currently being trapped living with my ex. Which made no sense. What was I afraid of? What was hanging out in my psyche that was making this so goddamn difficult? … Continue reading Stupid Human Psyche →