A Space Of My Own

I've got a bit of a headache right now, which is clinging to me in spite of having taken a couple of ibuprofen earlier. Worth it. I'd brought up to my husband that I had a solution to our sleeping arrangements. Not a great solution, but a solution. The boys weren't using their walk in … Continue reading A Space Of My Own →

Telling the Kids & Making it Public

We told the kids on the 30th. I found it incredibly difficult to fall asleep and probably got 3 hours. We'd agreed to tell them around 10am, when everyone would be awake and have eaten breakfast. I'd recently installed Dragon Age: Origins, which I'd purchased during a Steam sale, so I finally loaded it up … Continue reading Telling the Kids & Making it Public →

Flames On The Side Of My Face

So my husband wanted to go over the divorce paperwork. I'd already told him I wouldn't be filling anything out or signing anything, but it seemed important to him and I decided I'd go along with that. We walked over to the library, in silence most of the way except when we walked through a … Continue reading Flames On The Side Of My Face →

Paradigm Shift

I had been a little more raw and emotional than usual in what I said in the group chat with A and H after leaving my therapist appointment. I apologized, sheepishly, and said that it was grounding to say something when my brain wanted to pick a direction and then drive until I couldn't. H … Continue reading Paradigm Shift →

Just A Hole, Part 2

I woke up Friday morning feeling on edge, but my emotions were otherwise still comfortably numbed. My husband offered to make coffee after I got up. I accepted his offer and then went to get my shower so my hair would have some time to dry before leaving for my appointment with the my therapist. … Continue reading Just A Hole, Part 2 →

Just A Hole, Part 1

Yesterday I messaged my husband that we would need to set aside time to discuss the 30th - the day we tell our kids about the divorce and make a public announcement. He wanted it to be sooner rather than later, so we arranged that we'd discuss it at Starbucks Thursday night after supper. I … Continue reading Just A Hole, Part 1 →

The Life I Want

I've had multiple people assume, in a negative way, that I'm divorcing my husband in order to get the life I want. Honestly, my first reaction was to be outraged that they think THIS is the life I want - to be a divorced mom of four on the cusp of 40, dealing with mental … Continue reading The Life I Want →

Charitable Interpretations

I recently posted about having to face some hard truths about my husband and our relationship. I had a post from a year ago, December 2018, pop up in Facebook's feed today. In it, I said my posts about feminism, my posts condemning patriarchy, had nothing to do with my own relationship. I praised my … Continue reading Charitable Interpretations →

Irrationality

I had talked to the police the same day I talked to legal aid. Having guns in the house has been making my anxiety worse. I wanted to know if I'd be allowed to legally remove them and store them with a friend or family member. The answer was yes. Everything in the apartment belongs … Continue reading Irrationality →

Legal Aid

I'm sure I earned another dollop of ire this morning by leaving the house early without telling my husband where I was going. My appointment wasn't until 9:45 but it was raining and I had to drive into downtown Indy so I wanted to give myself plenty of time. I am really glad I went. … Continue reading Legal Aid →