Legal Aid

I’m sure I earned another dollop of ire this morning by leaving the house early without telling my husband where I was going. My appointment wasn’t until 9:45 but it was raining and I had to drive into downtown Indy so I wanted to give myself plenty of time.

I am really glad I went. I feel like I have a much better grasp on my rights, what’s legal and what’s not legal. So if my husband tries to push certain things, I can feel secure pushing back.

Speaking of which – recording a conversation I’m part of is legal.

I have the right to remain in housing with my name on the lease.

I have the right to food. (Just in case that’s something he ever tried to use.)

I have the right to the finances, just not behavior such as deliberately driving up debt.

If he tries to cut off the wifi and my phone, depending on the provider they might turn it back on for me as the account was made during a legal marriage. (And if not, there’s the library.)

It’s frowned on to file while you’re still living together, so if he tries to file early without my agreement to do so, that’s not going to look good for him, and he’ll be the one having to pay the fees involved in filing.

Indiana is a no fault state. There are certain things that will be frowned on, but that’s more to do with spending, assets, and children. So my husband fucking around with our finances could be a problem for him, but dating isn’t a big deal.

I got the names of a handful of lawyers that work with legal aid and thus would hopefully be more affordable to put on retainer (still need to call them).

While the courts prefer people be chill and take the high road, outside of the divorce proceedings, and unless there’s a judge’s order not to, I can divulge my husband’s behavior in a public manner without it being a legal issue. Just in case I need the nuclear option.

Overall it’s a nice feeling to know what my rights are. I feel like I’m on steadier ground, now. There’s obviously still the issue of escalation and negative behavior from my husband that I’ll have to deal with, but now I have a better idea of what I’m working with.

Next up will be getting things out of the house and (Indy) M’s place so I know my husband can’t target things of mine that are irreplaceable should he feel like escalating the retaliation. Then it will be time to inform him of the lights off/TV off schedule we’re keeping or our informal agreement is ended and this moves to the legal battle he claimed he did not want.

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