There are a few people that have interacted with me here on a regular basis this year, and those interactions helped. There are times when I think about the fact that there are 7.5+ billion people on Earth, and yet at any given moment I cease to exist to anyone but myself. It's not a … Continue reading Thank You
Month: December 2019
Flames On The Side Of My Face
So my husband wanted to go over the divorce paperwork. I'd already told him I wouldn't be filling anything out or signing anything, but it seemed important to him and I decided I'd go along with that. We walked over to the library, in silence most of the way except when we walked through a … Continue reading Flames On The Side Of My Face
Paradigm Shift
I had been a little more raw and emotional than usual in what I said in the group chat with A and H after leaving my therapist appointment. I apologized, sheepishly, and said that it was grounding to say something when my brain wanted to pick a direction and then drive until I couldn't. H … Continue reading Paradigm Shift
Just A Hole, Part 2
I woke up Friday morning feeling on edge, but my emotions were otherwise still comfortably numbed. My husband offered to make coffee after I got up. I accepted his offer and then went to get my shower so my hair would have some time to dry before leaving for my appointment with the my therapist. … Continue reading Just A Hole, Part 2
Just A Hole, Part 1
Yesterday I messaged my husband that we would need to set aside time to discuss the 30th - the day we tell our kids about the divorce and make a public announcement. He wanted it to be sooner rather than later, so we arranged that we'd discuss it at Starbucks Thursday night after supper. I … Continue reading Just A Hole, Part 1
Impressionable Youth
Content note: mention of child abuse (An even more cheerful entry for Christmas. I'd apologize, but this blog is first and foremost a way for me to chronicle, process and cope with my life as it is and was.) A discussion about sense of self and identity - first with M and then later with … Continue reading Impressionable Youth
Not a Cheerful Christmas Post
We're in the home stretch. My husband worked from home Monday and Tuesday. I had contemplated sucking it up and staying home the entire time due to the kids being home on break, then realized I need to focus on keeping my mood stable as much as possible. So I spent Monday afternoon with M, … Continue reading Not a Cheerful Christmas Post
Elwood, Indiana
When I was pet-sitting for my dad in Tennessee I accidentally discovered the fact that late night drives appear to be relaxing and therapeutic for me. I decided I'd continue the practice once I'd returned to Indiana. Admittedly, Indiana's roads are not as fun to drive on as the roads in my dad's region of … Continue reading Elwood, Indiana
Catty
In November, when I went to pet sit for my dad, I'd been dealing with too much depression upon my arrival to do a proper bit of blogging on the experience. First off, no matter how long it's been, I still seldom feel like a proper adult. That whole 'I need an adult - an … Continue reading Catty
2019 In Song
Winter Bird - AuroraAll I need is to rememberHow it was to feel alive On a Good Day - OceanlabBeen talking to myself forever, yeahAnd how I wish I knew me better, yeahStill sitting on a shelf and neverNever seen the sun shine brighterAnd it feels like meOn a good day Erupt - Be The … Continue reading 2019 In Song
On A Good Day 