Bits and Pieces

I was so devastated at the idea of working retail. I sucked it up and applied for a job and I ended up working at a grocery store in a pandemic. That sounds pretty terrible on the surface of things. So it's a little surreal that when I'm at work I'm the most at peace … Continue reading Bits and Pieces →

Instability

This morning my ex informed me maintenance would be coming over. After they arrived, he showed up at the door to my "bedroom" (aka the walk-in closet in my boys' bedroom) and asked if I knew where the screw was from the towel bar that had fallen off the wall. I looked confused and shrugged … Continue reading Instability →

Mediation

I left the house a few minutes early, moved my car so it wasn't right next to our building and joined the Zoom meeting. The paralegal standing in for my lawyer explained that my lawyer was on a hearing at the moment and would join in a bit. What she expected to take her 30 … Continue reading Mediation →

Brief Update

Have not been great about updating. The days when I don't work I'm trapped here in quarantine with my ex and even though he's more or less behaving himself, it's stressful and draining. Just wrapped up my 3rd of 4 shifts this week and the physicality of the job is finally getting to me. Have … Continue reading Brief Update →

An Unwanted Visit

I have another 4 days off in a row. This will be followed by 4 days working. I'd rather the shifts were spread out a little more, though, as even just a 4 day stretch trapped in quarantine with my ex is mildly insanity inducing at best. Last night I was consoling myself that at … Continue reading An Unwanted Visit →

Unslumping

Woke up this morning and started feeling anxiety kicking back in. A and H weren't very talkative Friday, and it made me start going into an anxiety spiral of 'what if I lost them as friends?' which was so gut-twisting it made me want to scream into the void. But that put me into problem-solving … Continue reading Unslumping →

Depression Sans Anxiety

Content note: discussion of suicidal ideation. Wednesday was some of the roughest mental health shit I've dealt with to date. The day started out badly - I was already in a depressive mood early in the morning and the fact that everyone was silent made things worse. There was no chatter in my group chat … Continue reading Depression Sans Anxiety →