Starting With A New Therapist

I think I mentioned briefly that I found a new therapist that seemed like they might be a good fit for me. I was supposed to have my first session with him yesterday, but he was sick and had to reschedule for next Friday. Brief tangent: yesterday morning I decided I'd knock out a little … Continue reading Starting With A New Therapist →

Goals Delayed Again

I'd mentioned only a couple of posts ago, I think, how it felt like I was putting so much effort into holding ground but end up feeling like I'm never able to advance. I was told that if I hadn't heard from the career center about next week's Excel course by 3pm today to call. … Continue reading Goals Delayed Again →

The Agony of Limbo

I'm only just embarking on the 4th day of this week and already it feels like the longest and roughest week I've had in a while - er, several weeks? A couple of months? I don't know if that's actually the case or not, time feels a little wonky while stuck in Limbo. I'm pretty … Continue reading The Agony of Limbo →

The Effects of Distress

I had to deal with another mental health crisis today. It went from me crying and clutching a wad of snotty tissues on a riverbank to selecting a road to drive on just to drive, to finally having to pull over about an hour away from home and majorly embarrass myself for a 2nd time … Continue reading The Effects of Distress →

Pursuing Happiness

I posted this on Facebook today but felt it would be worth posting here, too, as part of my effort to chronicle my ongoing journey from mental illness to mental health. Last year near the end of July I sprained my ankle and had to spend months mostly stuck in bed, playing No Man's Sky … Continue reading Pursuing Happiness →

Needs and Boundaries

My husband and I have been together for 18 years, married for 16. Over the course of our relationship I experienced stress related to circumstances outside of our control, which was understandable, as well as stress related to major decisions my husband made for us because I believed, at the time, that I was supposed … Continue reading Needs and Boundaries →

Fortifying

I could feel that I was slipping, this morning, feeling the clutch of depression and anxiety. It did not help that the weather outside is overcast and dreary. Fortunately I had a therapy appointment scheduled for 11am, and I forced myself to get out the door for a walk before my appointment. There were a … Continue reading Fortifying →

Thanks, I Hate It

I think I've been very lonely for a very long time now, and couldn't look that loneliness in the face and acknowledge it for what it is. I had the realization yesterday that my unfocused, existential boredom that couldn't be assuaged was really a desire to be around congenial company in person. Growing up homeschooled … Continue reading Thanks, I Hate It →

Riding the Waves

I have at least gotten some sleep the last couple of nights. Not as much as I'd like or need, but I'll take what I can get. Yesterday my husband and I got into another heated discussion in the morning. I'd felt slighted, and thought he was still upset with me from Sunday, because he … Continue reading Riding the Waves →

Small Victories

I didn't end up crushed yesterday. I didn't end up with another sleepless night. I came home feeling like I might shatter, but I held myself together. I kept conversation with my husband short instead of letting myself be pulled into his flow charts and placed in a position of having to be the one … Continue reading Small Victories →