Yesterday I messaged my husband that we would need to set aside time to discuss the 30th - the day we tell our kids about the divorce and make a public announcement. He wanted it to be sooner rather than later, so we arranged that we'd discuss it at Starbucks Thursday night after supper. I … Continue reading Just A Hole, Part 1
Impressionable Youth
Content note: mention of child abuse (An even more cheerful entry for Christmas. I'd apologize, but this blog is first and foremost a way for me to chronicle, process and cope with my life as it is and was.) A discussion about sense of self and identity - first with M and then later with … Continue reading Impressionable Youth
Not a Cheerful Christmas Post
We're in the home stretch. My husband worked from home Monday and Tuesday. I had contemplated sucking it up and staying home the entire time due to the kids being home on break, then realized I need to focus on keeping my mood stable as much as possible. So I spent Monday afternoon with M, … Continue reading Not a Cheerful Christmas Post
Elwood, Indiana
When I was pet-sitting for my dad in Tennessee I accidentally discovered the fact that late night drives appear to be relaxing and therapeutic for me. I decided I'd continue the practice once I'd returned to Indiana. Admittedly, Indiana's roads are not as fun to drive on as the roads in my dad's region of … Continue reading Elwood, Indiana
Catty
In November, when I went to pet sit for my dad, I'd been dealing with too much depression upon my arrival to do a proper bit of blogging on the experience. First off, no matter how long it's been, I still seldom feel like a proper adult. That whole 'I need an adult - an … Continue reading Catty
2019 In Song
Winter Bird - AuroraAll I need is to rememberHow it was to feel alive On a Good Day - OceanlabBeen talking to myself forever, yeahAnd how I wish I knew me better, yeahStill sitting on a shelf and neverNever seen the sun shine brighterAnd it feels like meOn a good day Erupt - Be The … Continue reading 2019 In Song
Affirmation and Success
I didn't sleep well last night, as usual. Around 5:40 I opened google documents on my phone and brought up a recent document titled 'I am worthy.' In it I'd written the following: I am worthy.I am worthy of having my needs met. I am worthy of having my needs met without resentment or stipulation.I … Continue reading Affirmation and Success
Changes
It still rankles, a little, that I was accused of not pushing myself hard enough. I thought I'd take a look back at my accomplishments in the last year. What have I actually been doing with my life? I went to therapy. This is an achievement. I had to acknowledge that something was wrong and … Continue reading Changes
The Life I Want
I've had multiple people assume, in a negative way, that I'm divorcing my husband in order to get the life I want. Honestly, my first reaction was to be outraged that they think THIS is the life I want - to be a divorced mom of four on the cusp of 40, dealing with mental … Continue reading The Life I Want
Late Night Winter Wonderland
I was trying to relax enough to sleep last night. Headphones were on and Loreena McKennitt was playing. I generally find her too mellow and low energy for daytime listening, but it's nice music for winding down. I came back to awareness for a moment and glanced around the room and noted how much light … Continue reading Late Night Winter Wonderland
On A Good Day 