Mediation

I left the house a few minutes early, moved my car so it wasn't right next to our building and joined the Zoom meeting. The paralegal standing in for my lawyer explained that my lawyer was on a hearing at the moment and would join in a bit. What she expected to take her 30 … Continue reading Mediation →

Dread

Required mediation takes place tomorrow via Zoom. The lawyer originally handling my case left the firm for another job and now the paralegal and remaining lawyer are having to handle the extra caseload while knowing nothing much about my situation. There's even a schedule conflict that will mean the paralegal, rather than the lawyer, is … Continue reading Dread →

Brief Update

Have not been great about updating. The days when I don't work I'm trapped here in quarantine with my ex and even though he's more or less behaving himself, it's stressful and draining. Just wrapped up my 3rd of 4 shifts this week and the physicality of the job is finally getting to me. Have … Continue reading Brief Update →

Creepy

I headed out for a second walk yesterday - out into a wet and ominously clouded night, and as I was crossing an intersection heading to the nearby nature area and the paved trail that runs through it, I had a thought. I've been in my suburb of some 70,000 people for 8 months now... … Continue reading Creepy →

An Unwanted Visit

I have another 4 days off in a row. This will be followed by 4 days working. I'd rather the shifts were spread out a little more, though, as even just a 4 day stretch trapped in quarantine with my ex is mildly insanity inducing at best. Last night I was consoling myself that at … Continue reading An Unwanted Visit →

It’s Fine Until It’s Not

[A couple of months ago I felt confident enough about where I was, mentally and emotionally, to let my group chat with my sister J, A and M know I'd been blogging. M wanted to be able to read it, so I sent her the link. M, if you're reading this, I suggest you stop … Continue reading It’s Fine Until It’s Not →

An Anecdote

When I was at work yesterday one of my coworkers thanked me, by name. "Thank you, [my name]!" I felt immensely confused, and literally asked them if they were speaking to me. I'm the only person there by that name, and it's a very distinctive name. It would be funny if it weren't for such … Continue reading An Anecdote →

Oops

I realized recently that some of my posts (because they're written as a public journal, emphasis on the journal) include statements that are likely to be confusing because they're missing context. So, trying to come up with a short biography for people that might be newer to reading here. I was home schooled and raised … Continue reading Oops →

Sacrifice, Restoration and Awkward Timing

I entered my marriage with a fantastic metabolism. I could eat anything in any amount and stayed right around 120-125lbs. By my 3rd pregnancy, my metabolism was giving up. After my 4th pregnancy, I'd gone from a size 6 to a size 12 and was around 175lbs. I felt a little guilty for caring about … Continue reading Sacrifice, Restoration and Awkward Timing →

I’m Okay

I'm not great, I'm not terrible. After a very rough start to the quarantine and social distancing, I've settled into an equilibrium of sorts. I'm not at my best - I managed to have a pretty good few weeks from February to mid-March. The anxiety and depression were very low, happiness was up. I'm definitely … Continue reading I’m Okay →