I didn't sleep well last night, as usual. Around 5:40 I opened google documents on my phone and brought up a recent document titled 'I am worthy.' In it I'd written the following: I am worthy.I am worthy of having my needs met. I am worthy of having my needs met without resentment or stipulation.I … Continue reading Affirmation and Success
Month: December 2019
Changes
It still rankles, a little, that I was accused of not pushing myself hard enough. I thought I'd take a look back at my accomplishments in the last year. What have I actually been doing with my life? I went to therapy. This is an achievement. I had to acknowledge that something was wrong and … Continue reading Changes
The Life I Want
I've had multiple people assume, in a negative way, that I'm divorcing my husband in order to get the life I want. Honestly, my first reaction was to be outraged that they think THIS is the life I want - to be a divorced mom of four on the cusp of 40, dealing with mental … Continue reading The Life I Want
Late Night Winter Wonderland
I was trying to relax enough to sleep last night. Headphones were on and Loreena McKennitt was playing. I generally find her too mellow and low energy for daytime listening, but it's nice music for winding down. I came back to awareness for a moment and glanced around the room and noted how much light … Continue reading Late Night Winter Wonderland
Charitable Interpretations
I recently posted about having to face some hard truths about my husband and our relationship. I had a post from a year ago, December 2018, pop up in Facebook's feed today. In it, I said my posts about feminism, my posts condemning patriarchy, had nothing to do with my own relationship. I praised my … Continue reading Charitable Interpretations
Panther Creek State Park, Part 3
I went back to Panther Creek State Park the very next day after my first visit, when I found out the weather was supposed to be good, including sunshine. I'd been intending to stick to the lowland trails after the previous day's experience, and parked my car in one of the lower lots so I … Continue reading Panther Creek State Park, Part 3
Fractional Memory
I had to go back to fractions. I mentioned how embarrassing that is to A and H, and commented that since it had been 20+ years since I did math that involved multiplying or dividing mixed number fractions my brain must have thought it was safe to delete those files. I'd spot them in an … Continue reading Fractional Memory
Panther Creek State Park, Part 2
My first day, proceeding along the overlook loop trail and having passed to the other side of the hills and partially descended, I looked up and spotted a cave. 38 year old me thought 'that's cool,' took note of the terrain and thought it would be a good idea to keep walking. 8 year old … Continue reading Panther Creek State Park, Part 2
Panther Creek State Park, Part 1
I'd been planning to post about Panther Creek State Park after returning home from my dad's, but so much happened that pushed it to the back burner. The first day I went it was mostly a grey, cloudy day, but the park's scenery was gorgeous so I didn't mind the lack of sun too much. … Continue reading Panther Creek State Park, Part 1
Irrationality
I had talked to the police the same day I talked to legal aid. Having guns in the house has been making my anxiety worse. I wanted to know if I'd be allowed to legally remove them and store them with a friend or family member. The answer was yes. Everything in the apartment belongs … Continue reading Irrationality
On A Good Day 