I was 18 and I finally had friends and a social life. I met a fellow nerd at my new job, and he invited me to join the Dungeons & Dragons game he played in. He was a charismatic extrovert that brought people together and was always involved in multiple nerdy activities for which he … Continue reading Religious Indoctrination 6/20
Religious indoctrination 5/20
There had always been cracks. And cracks, of course, are how the light gets in. My dad would never get fully on board with my mom's desired level of control and isolation when it came to media. We had some freedoms that other homeschooling families did not. Dad was the God-ordained head of the household … Continue reading Religious indoctrination 5/20
Religious Indoctrination 4/20
I was selfish. I wanted things just because they made me happy, not because they advanced God's kingdom or helped spread the Gospel. I knew the desires of my heart were sinful, because I'd been told they were from a very young age. I'd long hated all the things I'd been told were expected of … Continue reading Religious Indoctrination 4/20
Religious Indoctrination 3/20
I had always hated domestic life. I hated cleaning, I hated cooking, I hated childcare. I'd experienced all of these in plentiful amounts during my childhood, teen years and while working. I believed domestic existence was my duty, though. God wanted a man and a woman to pair up in a committed relationship and have … Continue reading Religious Indoctrination 3/20
Religious Indoctrination 2/20
I had no doubts that my religion was true. I loved my mom and dad with the innocent intensity of childhood and I knew they loved me, too. They were smart, good, caring people. They wouldn't lie to me. I had no concept of sincerely wrong belief. You see, people that believed wrong things about … Continue reading Religious Indoctrination 2/20
Religious Indoctrination 1/20
Religious indoctrination is a hell of a drug. Especially when it's delivered by people that are sincere in their belief, sincere in their love for you, and think they're saving you from evil and your soul from eternal torment. Especially when it starts at an age during which your impression of the world is that … Continue reading Religious Indoctrination 1/20
On a Bad Day
On a bad day I might not be able to write at all. This is especially frustrating because writing helps. Yesterday was a bad day and I couldn't focus my thoughts into creative coherency. I was close enough to the river of despair to stick my foot in, and the fact that I was that … Continue reading On a Bad Day
Fascinating
Spock (Leonard Nimoy) was one of my earliest fascinations. I loved his pointy ears and his arched eyebrow and how he refused to let his emotions factor into his decisions. I loved his dynamic with Dr. McCoy. I taught myself how to raise one eyebrow because of Spock. I loved Data, too, in spite of … Continue reading Fascinating
Youth is Wasted on the Young
I'm almost 38 which is almost 40. The thought bothers me a lot more than I thought it would. I wasn't bothered by 30. I've never wanted to repeat my teen years. I don't tend to be nostalgic or even particularly sentimental. I don't fear death. Either we go on after death or we don't, … Continue reading Youth is Wasted on the Young
Fear and Procrastination
I'm procrastinating. I'm nearing the end of realizing a major goal. Said major goal? My first completed novel-length rough draft. I'm going to have to make major changes. I'll probably be splitting it into two to three separate stories because of the current length. I'm at 131.5k words right now. I'm not sure how much … Continue reading Fear and Procrastination