Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

"You're going to have to pay child support for 4 children," my sister J said. She was trying to be helpful and give me a heads up on what to expect, after I let her, A and M know that my marriage would probably be ending after a year or so. She was grimly blunt. … Continue reading Hello Darkness, My Old Friend →

The End, And The Beginning Of The End

Well, that was rough, but we ripped the bandaid off, together. Based on what I knew of my husband, I thought if I gave him some feeling of control over the structure of his life again, that he might stabilize. I was mentally fortified yesterday, feeling strong enough to handle anything short of violence, which … Continue reading The End, And The Beginning Of The End →

Coming Undone

"Until we move and discuss, or you - arrive at an answer, I can't," my husband said. He'd come home for lunch and was about to leave, and I'd attempted to hug him. Apparently if he can't have connection and intimacy at the exact minimum level he believes the relationship should have, he'll have none … Continue reading Coming Undone →

Past, Present, Future?

I've been chronically sleep deprived and stressed for 16 years. Eventually, I developed a debilitating amount of anxiety, too. My health - mental and physical - was shot. I realized I couldn't go on this way. Either things had to change in a major way, or I'd have to remove myself from the environment that … Continue reading Past, Present, Future? →