Another fight and in its wake I'm left with a deeper sadness. I discovered he's focused on my methods of coping - that in his mind, they're the real sickness - and that he believes I should just push myself harder, and that he's not even convinced I'm really experiencing the depression and anxiety I … Continue reading Just Push Through the Discomfort
Month: May 2019
Skewed Perceptions
I don't know how my words change or lose all meaning somewhere between my lips and his ears. I have my theories, though. He's sincerely convinced of his own rightness and that he's not doing anything wrong. I think, to him, it does not make logical sense that I would tell him I can't keep … Continue reading Skewed Perceptions
You and me and your fortress
I'm not in that fortress with you - I never was. I set up my camp by your door and reached my hand through the portcullis to touch yours. You tried to pull me through, because you love me and wanted me next to you, but you wouldn't open the portcullis. I asked you to … Continue reading You and me and your fortress
‘Love Is All You Need’ Is A Lie
Who knows, maybe at some point I would have wanted the marriage, children and a nest thing - if I'd been given time to arrive there instead of being pressured to accept it while it was very much not what I wanted or needed. 'Love is all you need' is a lie, a bald-faced, utter … Continue reading ‘Love Is All You Need’ Is A Lie
Write What You Know
I think this advice was handed to a heroine of L.M. Montgomery's. Anne or Emily, I'm not sure which. As someone that grew up stuffing their brain full of fairy tales, Lewis, McKinley, Wrede, Tolkien, Heinlein, Koontz and a staggering variety of authors and their speculative fiction - as someone that wanted to join the … Continue reading Write What You Know
The Mortal Coil
It would seem I'm feeling talkative today. I was thinking about mental illness and death and how I have always felt lucky that suicidal ideation has never been much of a thing I've struggled with. Whatever else is going on with it, most of the time my brain wants to LIVE. The first time I … Continue reading The Mortal Coil
Curmudgeon
I'm not quite 38 and yet here I am, having one of those 'back in my day' old people moments. I'm scanning through my reader and noting that almost everyone's posts show up accompanied by a picture for a thumbnail and not only was there no such thing as a reader back when I was … Continue reading Curmudgeon
On A Good Day
It's not often that I find a song with lyrics that really resonate with me. Oh, I find a lot of music that I love and that I will listen to over and over because I like the way it makes me feel, but I'm more likely to find a song that makes me think … Continue reading On A Good Day
On A Good Day 