When I was at work yesterday one of my coworkers thanked me, by name. "Thank you, [my name]!" I felt immensely confused, and literally asked them if they were speaking to me. I'm the only person there by that name, and it's a very distinctive name. It would be funny if it weren't for such … Continue reading An Anecdote
Tag: Navel-gazing
Oops
I realized recently that some of my posts (because they're written as a public journal, emphasis on the journal) include statements that are likely to be confusing because they're missing context. So, trying to come up with a short biography for people that might be newer to reading here. I was home schooled and raised … Continue reading Oops
Sacrifice, Restoration and Awkward Timing
I entered my marriage with a fantastic metabolism. I could eat anything in any amount and stayed right around 120-125lbs. By my 3rd pregnancy, my metabolism was giving up. After my 4th pregnancy, I'd gone from a size 6 to a size 12 and was around 175lbs. I felt a little guilty for caring about … Continue reading Sacrifice, Restoration and Awkward Timing
Denial Of Expectations
I knew Indy M's support for my plan to ask H out on a date was spurred in part by her particular moral biases and beliefs about relationships. She falls in the camp of believing that when men and women are friends, it's nigh inevitable that someone catches feels. I think on some level, whether … Continue reading Denial Of Expectations
Malleable
Yesterday had an interesting moment for me. I was not pleased about my reaction to working retail. I've worked retail before and I do know how mentally and emotionally crushing I found it, but this is not a good time for turning up my nose at available employment and I was almost as unhappy about … Continue reading Malleable
All Real Numbers
My therapist and I were talking about choice and what I want again today. He sounded less sure that I should go ahead and tell H about my feelings. He mentioned the dreaded word 'rebound' which I admit makes me feel very defensive. Talked about how we don't give ourselves time to develop friendships but … Continue reading All Real Numbers
Resolute
I can do this. I can do hard things. I've made a life-long practice of doing hard things and being courageous. I'm having to give myself this pep-talk because I'm currently in something of a triggered state. Here's the background for that. I was thinking about the whole situation with H and how these random … Continue reading Resolute
Pleasant Interlude
Yesterday didn't start off the best. My mom had been messaging the family group chat with pictures of her project building an addition. It reminded me that she has time for building an addition, posting the pictures to the group chat, interacting with my husband's posts on FB but can't be bothered to take the … Continue reading Pleasant Interlude
Human, Probably
It was a rough few days. I was definitely not in a good place mentally. Yesterday afternoon I received a response from the director of the electrician's apprenticeship program and he said there was no way to grant an exception for the high school transcripts - it's either that, or a 2 year degree. At … Continue reading Human, Probably
Progress Report
Yesterday marked 3 months since my husband and I relocated to Indiana and began our last year together. 3 months of the 12 months I have to achieve independence, gone. That was a little frightening, and disheartening. I had to remind myself that I'm not being lazy. Living life requires an intense amount of effort … Continue reading Progress Report
On A Good Day 