It's better to put my kids through a divorce than a suicide. I didn't think I'd have to be telling myself this today. My husband wanted the kids to see a therapist. His work offers a certain number of free sessions per person, and he thought we should normalize it for the kids - treat … Continue reading I Deserve To Be Able To Save Myself
Category: Family Life
Mostly Good Things
The difference between being in a bad headspace and a good headspace is night and day for me. Yesterday afternoon I updated A and H with what my therapist had said about not recommending hospitalization, and they were glad to hear it. I asked them to still periodically check on me until the 20th, just … Continue reading Mostly Good Things
Beauty and Ashes
Yesterday wasn't exactly a great day. My husband is myopically focused on what he believes our relationship should look like, and how I'm failing to live up to that. I'm myopically focused on not ending up in another long stretch of major depression and anxiety. I hate how mental health is often treated as less … Continue reading Beauty and Ashes
Love And Hate
I hate being a parent. I hate parenting. I don't hate my children. I think it's difficult for a lot of people to reconcile these facts if they have not been in a position to experience it for themselves. My children are neat people. I don't lose sight of that fact. They're witty, weird, intellectually … Continue reading Love And Hate
I am AJ, Mother of Trash Pandas
Last night I had a conversation with my children in which I called them trash pandas and highlighted how they treat our apartment as if they live in a dumpster. I informed them that we're going to be enacting some new standards for cleaning, and pointed out some specific problems that they'd been contributing to: … Continue reading I am AJ, Mother of Trash Pandas
On A Good Day 