The plague, in this case, being anxiety.
H did end up messaging me back, confirming he would still be available for a trip to Newfields.
By then, my anxiety had already spiked through the roof – thanks, anxiety – so while it helped it wasn’t enough to restore me to former levels.
I realized that my anxiety instantly improves when I leave the house, so I got ready and made sure to go out for a walk on my favorite trail before the rain started rolling in.
That did help reduce the levels, but it was still high enough that I felt a little sick to my stomach after returning to the apartment.
I’ve eaten food, which has helped a little, too, and am otherwise managing, but it’s frustrating as hell. Just killing time until tomorrow when he’ll be at his office instead of home.
Half the battle is stepping outside the front door, isn’t it.
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It is. When I started working on my mental health, I really had to shift my perspective – stop trying to look ahead and just look at here, now. Take that first step. Do that thing that could help right now. And… it’s been working. If I look back 6 months, a year, 2 years, I can see how much progress I’ve made.
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