The plague, in this case, being anxiety.
H did end up messaging me back, confirming he would still be available for a trip to Newfields.
By then, my anxiety had already spiked through the roof – thanks, anxiety – so while it helped it wasn’t enough to restore me to former levels.
I realized that my anxiety instantly improves when I leave the house, so I got ready and made sure to go out for a walk on my favorite trail before the rain started rolling in.
That did help reduce the levels, but it was still high enough that I felt a little sick to my stomach after returning to the apartment.
I’ve eaten food, which has helped a little, too, and am otherwise managing, but it’s frustrating as hell. Just killing time until tomorrow when he’ll be at his office instead of home.
On A Good Day 
Half the battle is stepping outside the front door, isn’t it.
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It is. When I started working on my mental health, I really had to shift my perspective – stop trying to look ahead and just look at here, now. Take that first step. Do that thing that could help right now. And… it’s been working. If I look back 6 months, a year, 2 years, I can see how much progress I’ve made.
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