As has been the pattern, I had trouble staying asleep last night, and when I finally checked the time, saw that it was only around 4:40am. I stayed in bed and let my mind wander, hazy, until my husband got up after 6 and started to get ready for the day. This is still a significant improvement from a year ago when I couldn’t even expect one full REM cycle a night.
I had an assessment at the career office this morning, and planned to leave after our youngest was on her bus, but ended up having to get ready and leave the house early after she discovered that our younger son (second child) had forgotten his lunch. I dropped it off at his school and then stopped for gas on the way home, where I felt embarrassed to realize my card had been denied because I was using the old, expired card. Luckily I did have the correct card on me, I’d just grabbed the wrong one.
I arrived back home just in time to say goodbye to our youngest as she headed confidently to the bus stop. We gave her permission to go to the bus and return home on her own, because she loves to feel independent. Sometimes she still asks us to go with her in the morning, anyway.
I vastly overestimated how much time I needed to get to my assessment, and arrived almost 20 minutes early, and then had to wait an extra 30 minutes because the career counselor I’m assigned to had goofed and forgotten to enter some of our names in advance.
It was for reading, math and language, and I’m pretty sure I kicked ass on reading and language, but looked like a 4th grader in math. Thanks, homeschooling.
I was able to finish a little early even though I started late, and when I walked outside just before 1pm found that the day was just about the most perfect summer day one could ask for. I headed home to have lunch and then headed to the BMV to get my license switched from IL to IN.
We’d gone Saturday, but ran into a snag – my social security card was the one with my maiden name, and our copy of our marriage license was from 2002, before the DHS instituted the rules for realIDs that required a raised seal or a certified copy, so we had to order a new copy.
Fortunately the BMV was not very crowded and I got in and out with relative ease, and had enough time to head out on my favorite walk. It was about 75 and breezy, with lower humidity than usual. The sky was bright blue and had a fair amount of fluffy white clouds, though not enough to impede the sunlight to any great degree.
It felt great to be alive and out of doors on such a perfect summer day. I’m so grateful that I can feel an elevated mood again.
I was also glad to have had things like the assessment to do. Getting out of the house and accomplishing something, even if I didn’t cover myself with glory, feels like a huge positive step forward. I didn’t drown in anxiety. I managed.