I Don’t Think I Can Add This Job To My Resume

I’ve never exactly been in step with society or people in general. I’m off the beaten path, marching to the beat of my own drum – however you want to say it. That’s usually not intentional. I’m pretty sure it would have happened with or without the homeschooling and religious brainwashing. I come from a long line of weirdos and I’m pretty sure at this point it’s genetic.*

Since I don’t make a habit of reading self-help books or blogs or seeking advice on how to live my life, I usually don’t discover people think I’m doing everything wrong until it’s too late. I don’t mean they personally know that I exist and believe I’m doing everything wrong, I mean that they think anyone living their life the way I live mine is doing it wrong.

I was not aware until this morning that having a blog is a job and that it is apparently my job to help my readers become healthier, happier and more productive. Damn. That sounds a lot like being a therapist, or a parent. (I don’t get paid for being a parent, either.) I think the employment process here may need to be revamped because apparently they’ll let anyone work here. They didn’t even require a background check!

Well, I’m afraid I’m doomed to be a failure at this job, but I’m just going to stick around until they fire me.

Wait, I know! I’ll help people FEEL healthier, happier and more productive by allowing them to compare their life with mine! It can function as a placebo!

At least I’m not that lady that was overheard singing Rainbow Connection late at night in a park, they’ll think, and go about their day basking in the warm glow that comes from knowing they’re better at this life thing than a random stranger on the internet.

*Pedantic digression: it’s not nature vs nurture, it’s nature and nurture. According to recent scientific research, nature can shape how we nurture – but how we nurture also shapes nature. They go hand in hand, 50/50.

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